Please.. drain it all and make it stop… The Twilight Review
Twilight is a series of books dealing with the age old story of undead pretty boyd hitting on cute yet awkward girls and struggling with their feral nature. The hit series of books (among sexually deprived cougars and their young, naïve EMO counterparts of the teenage persuasion) are now being made in to movies and just 1 – noooo.. all 4!
Slip on your favorite pair of skinny jeans, Wal-Mart studded leather belt and your horendously lame haircut and venture out to your local cineplex. If you are an actual afult then I would suggest allowing the girls to have their little day out swooning over Pattinson and his pale, washed out little girl complexion and comic book dtyle hair because you will be bored to tears or just left sitting there contemplating that right now – in that instance – that spontaneous human combustion would be a good thing!
This “film” despite it’s glowing, paid reviews is trite and insipid at its best. At its worst it is bad, really bad.. overly dramatic acting, silly dialogue and inane story points. Don’t forget the over all feminine look not seen since Jim Carrey went vamp 20 or more years ago. All that’s missing are a few cowboy hats and 1970’s porn music.
Where are the bug eaters? Where are the vampires that look like bats? Hell – where is the unbridled slaughter, mayhem and destruction? There is more bloodsucking on the Animal Planet. Twilight has two things going for it though.. the killer songtrack which, surprisingly, does not have as many EMO tunes as you would think and some great action sequences. Those are few and far between though as the concentration is on the lovey dovey crap and which vegan vamp will crush on Bella.
In the end I gave it half a fang. I am tired of romanticised vampires. “Say it out loud..” it sucks.
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