In the late 1970s confectioner Frank Galatolie introduced the world to a new kind of candy. The dental damaging delight was a soft candy coated with both invert and sour sugars. Inverted sugar syrup is the result of splitting sucrose into a mixture of fructose and glucose, which makes it sweeter than its precursor. Sour sugar, on the other hand, is basic sugar that’s been combined with tartaric and citrus acids. Both of these acids contain protons that when mixed with a liquid, such as saliva, creates a sour sensation on the human tongue. To enhance this tongue tingling sensation lactic acid was added. With the help of a Canadian candy conglomerate, Jared International, Sour Patch Kids were born.
In the early 2016s another Canadian, Tony Sour, took an infectious dance beat, sweetened it with some tasty audio samples, laced it with some traditional Lebanese instruments like daffs, lutes, buzuqs, tablahs and mijwizs, and introduced the club world to a new kind of music. It was sour, it was sweet, and oh yeah, it was gone, baby, gone, gone, gone. Just like Sour Patch Kids candy. With the help of a Canadian music company, Blue Label Records, the “Sour Patch Bounce” was born.
In the same way anyone with a sweet tooth was soon addicted to the crack like quality of Sour Patch Kids candy any DJ with an affinity for phat beats will fall prey to hypno-rhythmic effect of the “Sour Patch Bounce”. Tony Sour is in the house and he’s dealing hooks and riffs that will lead to a major dance dependency in unsuspecting listeners of epidemic proportions. I do not believe, at least in our lifetime, that scientists will find a cure for this cavorting Canadian bad-boy boogie. You will yield to the temptation of playing it over and over and over again. When the song stops playing on whatever playback device you’ve heard it on, it will begin playing nonstop in your head.
Symptoms include shimmying, strutting, swaying and getting down. Foot tapping, finger snapping, twisting, spinning and swaying have also been reported. In severe case of “Sour Patch Bounce” syndrome rugs are often cut, the light fantastic may be tripped and craving for the days of disco have been observed. How do I know? I’ve heard it and I’ve not been the same since.
Don’t believe me? Think you’re strong enough to handle it? That you can control it and stop when ever you want to? That you won’t end up jonesing for it night and day, willing to do whatever it takes for just one more phonic fix of Tony’s sour mix? Sure, you’re more disciplined then those other poor lost souls withering on the dance floor. OK, I’ll turn you on to just a little teeny, tiny taste. Go ahead, pilgrim; take a hit. This one’s on Mr. Sour and it’s for free. What could possibly go wrong, right? You have been warned: https://soundcloud.com/tonysour/sour-patch-bounce-tony-sour-radio/s-3uXFm/.
