When you hear the term “Civil Rights,” what do you picture?
Yes, I pictured the same. However, this image has changed since being educated on Adoption & Adoptee Search, and the struggles facing the Unsealed Initiative in New York State.
On January 31, 2014, my mental image of “civil rights” changed forever. Healing House Publishing was invited by James Lane, 2013 NYC Green Party Candidate for Public Advocate, to the Assembly hearing for the Adoptee Bill of Rights A909, a public hearing on legislation to allow Adoptees access to their original birth certificates. Thinking that I fully understood the depth of this topic, I was more than eager to be there in solidarity and support. However, it wasn’t until I started hearing testimonies that I learned that I had no real clue what this struggle was really about.
EMOTIONAL SUSPENSION
Hearing the testimonies of lifelong struggles people suffer as a result of being blocked from accessing their identity and health records was eye-opening, and heartbreaking. In the words of Joe Soll, LCSW, from Adoption Healing, Inc., no matter what he accomplished in life there was always an emptiness and a loneliness that stemmed from the unanswered questions of his origin. Ellen Mohr, spoke of the holes in her heart she has carried through life as a result of being blocked from records naming her birth parents. Ellen, now 87 years old, simply ended her testimony with:
“Who am I?”
Ellen, and many, many others in New York State, are legally blocked from finding out this basic knowledge that you and I have free access and rights to:
Who am I?
What ethnicity am I?
Where am I from?
Where was I born?
and
What is my family health history?
When this landed in my heart, I felt shocked and activated to bring the topic to our table and create awareness. I am not an adoptee, but I am human, and as I see it, this is a struggle for basic human rights. A struggle for answers. A struggle for health. A struggle for Love.
Birth parents and adoptees are looking for each other but NYS law prevents them from connecting. There were parents in the courtroom looking for their adult children and there were adult children looking for their parents, for those reasons of identity, health records but most importantly, healing, a word I heard over and over again today in the courtroom.
“There is nothing more healing than a mother
finding out that her child is okay.”
Data presented this morning showed that 94 percent of non-searching birthmothers WANT contact, and I agree with the argument that we cannot keep a fear-based law active for the minority percent. Case after case of lost years and missed connections and “too late” scenarios painted a picture of a 1940s law that needs a serious update to accommodate the modern world, especially in a state that has already has open adoption policies. To further paint the antiquated picture, this law was crafted in a time when having children out of wedlock was shunned, shameful and undesirable, when priests, marriage status and social image played a role in deciding a child’s value and “home.” Obviously, 70+ years later, that has changed, therefore this law must, too, in NYS, already an open adoption state.
Adoptive parents testified as well stating: “The real life flesh and blood people who created my child, are exactly that” and “my child will want to know and has a right to know their origin.” One adoptive mother thanked a birth mother for finding her son and being able to provide for him answers she never could. The argument is simple, and in my heart the solution is clear: This is a struggle between laws that protect parents, and laws that protect a child. My heart feels what is best would be what is best for the child, after all, that was the reason for considering adoption in the first place.
Understanding this civil rights issue was so profound. Realize this: the only other group of people who were ever denied their birth certificates in US History were Slaves.
HEARING BOTH SIDES
Privacy issues. Fear of disruption of the lives of the birth mothers and the adoptive families. Arguing lawyers present took the stance that this change is an emotional struggle cloaked under health issues and overlooks the right of the woman who gave up her right to have access to her child. However, it was made very clear that this right was never given up, nor is it anywhere in writing. It was made clear that adult families of adult children, and we are talking in many cases LDAs (late discovery adoptees, many who are middle aged), support this healing, human reconnection. There was no evidence brought forth that reconnection had ruined lives as imagined it should. However, lawyers argued that registries are the best, lawful and mutually safe solution. Registries for both sides exist to find each other, but evidenced by the common practice of having to hire private investigators, registries are not enough. Time and connection is precious. Identity should not be tossed around like property.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
What you can do is bring awareness of this Unsealed Initiative to anyone you know struggling with this issue so that they know they can come to hearings like this historical one and speak up to change this antiquated law. The hope is that there will not need to be future hearings and that this bill will pass this year.
We don’t realize that modern day civil rights issues span beyond racism and color. Civil rights issues include adoption rights, bullying, etc…. in essence, anything that strips away a person’s right to safety, well-being, freedom and identity. This year marks the 50th anniversary of Lyndon B. Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act. I would like to believe we can do better still, on all fronts. For Adoptees, Adoptees Search, for everyone.
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A father needed medical info for his daughter who had seizures. Another speaker was able to find out about a congenital heart condition that claimed the lives of males in his family.
“We are not a fetus that just escaped abortion,
we are humans who deserve our rights.”
Please say a prayer and spread awareness for this most human of legislation to pass. I was deeply troubled that I was the first of only two people on this list for “PRESS,” and I am a nobody. NY1 walked in and then walked out. I hope they chose to stick around and cover this. Help me help others by spreading awareness. Do whatever you can.
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Watch Video Coverage Below:
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